the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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