sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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