I will die if light touches me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
