According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
