GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize