but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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