I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
