Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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