Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
