so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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