the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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