we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
