I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room