i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
