This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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