I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
