If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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