dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
