Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
