Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize