the condom got lost in my hair
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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