I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You ruined the universe
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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