K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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