I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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