I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
