Jerry, you need to find god
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
