rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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