i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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