seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
