i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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