I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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