She's JV to your varsity
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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