I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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