So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
