Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
