i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize