While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
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Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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