1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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