We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
