Kiss
Puke
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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