if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
