Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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