Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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