I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
