Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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