WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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