no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have post one night stand depression
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
