hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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