so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
