I wish my penis had an off switch
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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