I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
