so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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