Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
