need another drink. this is the easiest way
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
