So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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