do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
