What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
