the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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