Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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